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 I Met a Beautiful Man; Egyptian, Muslim, Spiritual, Genuine and Decent (2023)

© Ché Finch


I Met a Beautiful Man; Egyptian, Muslim, Spiritual, Genuine, and Decent is the Ché Finch's expression of the sublimity of being held and embraced by another. The kind of guy I’d like to live my life with. But life is messy and complicated and either he just wanted sex or I messed it up. I told him I couldn’t sleep with him until certain aspects had been resolved… My timing was appalling, he’d just spent two hours kissing me in the most spiritual way and I ended the moment by asking him too many questions (which he answered with grace and sincere honesty) and telling him I couldn’t sleep with him.

As a fostered, then adopted person; with my adoptive parents divorcing when I was 11 years old, and separation over a continent from my full blood brother (my brother remained in South Africa to live with my father and I came to England to live with my mother… we should never have been separated), it created a profound sense of loss and meant I am not able to be carefree with my heart when meeting a potential mate. I overthink things and get defensive. 

So; too much heartache within my history to trust someone new in my life at this stage in life, and a deepening resolution not to share my body without real love being part of that process, which of course takes time and commitment. I couldn’t risk my heart being broken, so I built a wall, which is not who I am.

I regret not spending more time with him; to find out if there was something more. You have to take a chance to stand a chance. Instead, I chose to focus on work; hoping in time we’d both get to know each other more so we could fall in love.

I was also appalled and truly struggled with how many people in my life told me he was either too Muslim for me or that Muslim men were just players and treated Western women as easy. I was shocked at the stereotyping.

He wasn’t too Muslim for me; I am deeply attracted to the fact that he has a faith, is spiritual, considerate, with a distinct moral compass and doesn’t drink alcohol. What’s not to like in that? and how are those negative attributes in an individuals character?

Artwork Details

ARTIST: Ché Finch

MEDIUM: Stoneware, bisque fired.
DIMENSIONS: 41 x 34cm

DATE: 2018

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